People often ask, “What would you tell your younger self?” My honest answer? Nothing. Because the very best lessons in life—the ones that shape you, strengthen you, and stay with you—don’t come from someone else’s advice. They come from doing the thing. From taking the hit. From getting it wrong, getting up, and going again.
Experience is a great teacher. The problems, the stumbles, the breakthroughs—they all matter. The most painful moments often become the most valuable. The chapters you’ll be proudest of are usually the ones you never saw coming. That’s the point. There are no shortcuts. It’s not meant to be easy.
But along the way, I’ve developed a set of principles that shape how I make decisions and how I live. They’re not fixed rules. They’re reminders. Touchstones. A compass for when the fog rolls in. And while I believe everyone should write their own, if you’re at the beginning of your journey, these might give you something to build from.
Here’s what I’ve learnt—so far.
1. Find Your Purpose
Do the thing you want to do every day. No one tells a professional surfer to go surfing less. Build a life you don’t want to escape from. This is about far more than work—it’s about alignment. When your work, energy, and values match, momentum happens. If you haven’t found it yet, keep going. Purpose isn’t something you’re handed—it’s built, earned, discovered, tested. Look for the stuff that gives you energy, that makes hours disappear, that feels like it matters. Follow that. And when it gets tough (because it will), it’s your purpose that’ll get you through.
2. How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything
Your standards aren’t situational. They’re embedded. How you show up to the small stuff is how you’ll show up when it counts. Be relentless about detail, about quality, about attitude—because it compounds. The habits you build when no one’s watching are the ones that define you. Excellence is a way of being, not a one-off. The same goes for effort, empathy, and integrity. Your life is the sum of your patterns. So show up, even when it’s boring. Especially when it’s boring.
3. Be Curious
Ask questions. Always. Read widely – in fact this should probably be a rule itself – the more I read the cleverer I get and no other medium seems to teach in the same way. Learn constantly. Curiosity keeps you sharp, humble, and growing. Chase the edges of what you know. Follow rabbit holes. Explore other industries, other cultures, other systems. Curiosity is how you connect dots others don’t even see. It’s also how you stay young, interested, and interesting. The curious are always in motion—and motion leads to breakthroughs.
4. You Are What You Do
You can say whatever you want, but your actions are the real story. What’s in your calendar? That’s your priority. What do you do when no one is watching? That’s your character. Words are noise – albeit they can be informative, factual or just playful and beautiful. Consistency is truth. Show up for the things that matter. Let your schedule, your effort, and your habits reflect your values.
5. Be Unreasonable
The world changes because unreasonable people demand that it must. Reasonable people settle—they comply, conform, and politely wait their turn. But impact? Impact comes from those who refuse to accept the status quo, who question why and boldly ask, “Why not?”
Be that person. Set goals so audacious they feel slightly unhinged. Then throw everything behind making them real. Expect greatness—relentlessly—from yourself and those around you. Not out of ego, but out of belief: belief that things can be better, wilder, fairer, more beautiful. That belief is the fuel of the unreasonable.
And yes, this kind of ambition makes people uncomfortable. That’s the point. Comfort keeps you stuck. Change needs friction. It needs fire. Be the spark. Be radically ambitious, infuriatingly optimistic, and lovingly relentless. Because impact doesn’t live in the land of the reasonable. It lives in the margins, in the wild ideas, and with those brave enough to break the pattern.
6. Outwork Everyone in the Room
Talent is great. But effort? That’s your edge. Be the person who shows up early, stays late, delivers more than expected. Consistency trumps intensity. Doing the boring stuff well—reliably—is what separates the good from the exceptional. It’s about commitment and discipline. Doing what needs doing, even when no one’s clapping. Outwork them. Quietly. Relentlessly.
Work smart too. You must always be looking to improve the quality of the work you do, and how effectively that work helps you achieve your goals. Outworking everyone, gives you huge potential for achievement but only if you’re working on the right things.
I’ve always loved the idea that; you don’t have to do the work but someone else will!
7. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Growth lives just outside your comfort zone. Lean into that edge. It’s going to be hard – it’s why I love recruiting elite performance, whatever the arena, because that took commitment, discomfort and many sacrifices. This journey will test you. Learn to like it. Seek out things that scare you a bit—that’s often where the magic is. And don’t just tolerate discomfort—go looking for it. In tough conversations. In new adventures. In places where you’re not the expert. That’s where you become who you’re meant to be.
8. Protect Your Energy Like It’s Equity
Energy, passion and enthusiasm are amongst your most valuable resources. And they’re finite. Investment them with the right people, projects, and principles. Know what fuels you—and double down on that. Know what drains you—and protect against it. This isn’t about slowing down. It’s about building sustainably. Rest is strategy. Recharge is power. And saying “no” is a skill that protects your ability to “yes” to something more important.
9. Be Kind, Especially When It’s Hard
Kindness is strength under pressure. It’s not softness—it’s poise. It doesn’t necessarily mean being liked, but that’s nice. It means being decent. Especially when stakes are high. Kindness is what earns trust, holds teams together, and hopefully comes back around. Be the one who stays calm when others rage. Be the one who listens when others interrupt. That doesn’t mean you don’t have high standards which you expect others to meet. It means you do it with respect.
10. Have Outrageous Ambition
Dreams don’t have to be realistic. They just have to be yours. Dream so big it makes people laugh. Aim for goals that feel just out of reach. Because it’s all hard—so you might as well aim for something epic. Ambition isn’t arrogance. It’s faith in your ability to grow. Share your vision. Speak it out loud. Then do the work to make it real. If you can’t say it out loud, it’s not going to happen.
11. Hold Strong Opinions Loosely
Be decisive. Act with clarity. But never get so attached to your ideas that you stop learning. Strong opinions are great. But keep them flexible. The best leaders listen. They change their minds. They evolve. That’s strength. That’s growth. That’s how you stay in the game long enough to matter – continue to listen, to learn, to evolve and reinvest aspects of how you live and work, and who you are.
12. Surround Yourself with Incredible People
You’re the sum of who you spend time with—so ask yourself, honestly: who do you spend the most time with? Do they stretch you, inspire you, push you to be better? Or do they drain you, distract you, and dull your potential? Choose people who challenge you with love, support you with integrity, and grow alongside you. It’s okay—necessary even—for your circle to change. If it doesn’t, you’re not evolving. Quality matters more than quantity. A small, perfect circle will take you further than a big, passive one.
You don’t owe lifelong friendship to the person you sat next to in school, just like you don’t owe loyalty to someone who no longer brings light into your life. If they do—great. But if they don’t, move forward without guilt. You’re building a life of impact, not comfort. Surround yourself with people who see your highest self and help you reach it—and be that person for others, too.
13. Be Authentic
Don’t play a character—it’s exhausting, unsustainable, and ultimately unfulfilling. Be honest. Be open. Be unapologetically yourself, especially when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable. Life is too short to constantly edit who you are for the comfort of others. Say what you mean. Do what you say. And understand that not everyone will like you—and that’s okay. That’s the cost of integrity, and it’s worth every penny.
Push yourself to be even more transparent and honest than feels safe. Not to offend. Not to shock. But to be free. And if you want to live and work quickly, you have to play with freedom.
14. Embrace the Contradictions & Compromises
There are very few absolutes in life—rarely are things purely right or completely wrong. Most of the time, we’re navigating trade-offs, tensions, and grey areas. That’s not a flaw in the system—it is the system. Contradictions aren’t a sign of weakness; they’re proof you’re engaging with the complexity of life, and noticing the nuance.
You’ll be inconsistent. You’ll believe two (or sometimes many) things at once. You’ll hold high standards and still fall short. That’s okay. That’s the honest reality. Don’t waste energy trying to be perfectly aligned all the time—it’ll paralyse you. Instead, aim to hold those contradictions with awareness and integrity. Learn to laugh at the madness of it. Learn to grow from it.
We’re all compromises of our past, our values, our ambitions, and our fears. And that’s what makes us interesting. So stop chasing simplicity in a world that offers only complexity. Wisdom lives in the nuance. And growth happens when you can sit with tension and still move forward.
15. Be Brave
Speak up. Step forward. Start before you’re ready. Fear isn’t a stop sign—it’s often a signal you’re close to something that matters. Bravery doesn’t mean being fearless. It means acting anyway. It’s showing up when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard. That’s where courage lives—and where real impact begins.
Be bold enough to go first. To risk looking foolish. To keep moving when the outcome is uncertain. Because courage compounds. Each brave choice builds the strength for the next one. Over time, you’ll realise: bravery isn’t a single act. It’s a mindset. A practice.
If you want to do meaningful work, build a meaningful life, and make a dent in the universe—you won’t find a shortcut around bravery. So don’t wait for the perfect moment. Train it like a habit. Live it like a value. Daily. Quietly. Relentlessly.
16. This Too Will Pass
The horrible, hard, and overwhelming challenges—the ones that knock you off your feet—will pass. So too will the highs, the achievements, and the moments of celebration. Nothing lasts forever. So don’t get too high, or too low. Learn to ride the wave without letting it drown or define you. Instead, seek to learn everything you can from each experience. There’s wisdom in every win and every loss. Try—though I haven’t come anywhere near to mastering this myself—to be truly present in every moment. As the SEALs say, get the full benefit from that moment. Because whether it’s joy or pain, it’s all shaping you. It’s all part of the work. And the sooner you can accept that everything is temporary, the sooner you’ll learn to extract the lesson, stay grounded, and keep moving forward. That’s resilience—not blind optimism, but a deep trust that nothing stays the same. The storm will pass. And so will the sunshine. So walk through it all with awareness, humility, and a willingness to grow.
17. Don’t Be A Victim.
Whatever decision you make, do it with purpose. Own it. Say yes decisively—with passion, with clarity, with full conviction. But say no even more often—and with the same strength. Don’t drift. Don’t become a victim of circumstances, or of someone else’s expectations. Don’t agree to something because of peer pressure or because it’s the easy option. Own your direction. Own your values. Own your voice. Life will constantly try to nudge you off track with demands, opinions, distractions, and expectations. Your job is to stay intentional. Choose your path, your pace, your people—and take responsibility for those choices. That’s power. Not control over others, but complete agency over yourself. You don’t need to justify your decisions to anyone who doesn’t share your values. But you do owe it to yourself to live with clarity and conviction. No more half-hearted yeses. No more quietly resented commitments. No more pretending. Own your life like it matters—because it does.
18. Keep Evolving
Nothing in nature stays the same. You shouldn’t either. Every experience, every challenge, every conversation is an opportunity to sharpen, stretch, and evolve who you are and how you operate. The best people don’t cling to the version of themselves that once worked—they outgrow it. They upgrade their thinking, their systems, their habits.
Don’t get stuck replaying yesterday’s wins. What got you here won’t get you where you’re going. The game keeps moving—and if you’re not evolving, it will pass you by. This doesn’t mean throwing everything out. It means continuously integrating what you learn. Applying new insight. Testing new approaches. Keeping what works and letting go of what doesn’t.
19. Remember That Everything Compounds
Every new idea, every training session, every small win—it all adds up. Whether it’s your knowledge base, your physical resilience, or your decision-making edge, everything compounds. Success isn’t a result of one breakthrough moment—it’s built on layers of consistency, intention, and deliberate practice. Every rep in the gym makes you stronger. Every book you read makes you smarter. Every hard conversation increases your emotional range and resilience.
The same is true in reverse. Every missed deadline, every time you take the easy option or turn up late – that compounds too. Neglect adds up just as fast as momentum. The cost of inaction is rarely loud, but it’s always real and will put you in debt.
What you do daily matters far more than what you do occasionally. Compound interest isn’t just a financial concept—it’s a life strategy. The investments you make in yourself today—no matter how small—shape the person you become tomorrow.
Be intentional. Stack wisely. Because in the end, your life will be the sum of what you chose to repeat.
20. Success Will Take Sacrifices
Success demands more than effort—it requires sacrifice. If you want to build something extraordinary, you can’t also be ordinary or live like everyone else. You’ll give up hobbies, nights out, weekends, opportunities that look fun but don’t move the needle. You’ll miss moments with friends, time with family, and experiences you might have loved. That’s the price of success.
But the hardest part? The sacrifices won’t always be yours alone. You’ll ask them of the people closest to you—your partner, your children, your friends. They’ll carry some, and often much of the weight too. That’s what makes this rule heavy. And necessary.
So recognise it. Own it. And never take it for granted. Be relentlessly grateful for the sacrifices others make so you can pursue your vision. Make sure they know it matters to you. And when the time comes, be ready to do the same for them.
Sacrifice is not a one-time transaction. It’s a rhythm. A tension to manage. A choice you’ll keep making. If you want an extraordinary outcome, you have to live an extraordinary and often selfish process. And that means accepting the cost—and carrying it with respect.
Epilogue: The Lesson That Snuck Up on Me
I opened by saying I wouldn’t tell my younger self anything. That the best lessons come from doing, not from someone else’s highlight reel.
And I stand by that—mostly.
But the truth is, I almost missed the most important lesson of them all. Not because it was buried deep, but because it was hiding in plain sight. Keep going!
There is no final version of you. No neatly packaged wisdom to hand down. What you think is certain today might unravel tomorrow. That’s not failure. That’s the game. And most people? They never play it. They opt out. They settle. They plateau. They get too comfortable with their own advice.
The lesson I nearly missed is that you’re either evolving—or you’re getting left behind.
So if I had to rewrite the intro, I’d leave a single line written on the mirror:
“Keep going!”
Because life doesn’t hand you a polished manuscript. It gives you rough drafts—written in real time, with no guarantee the next page will make sense of the last. You learn by writing forward, by walking into chapters you can’t predict, by choosing boldness over polish.
That’s what these lessons are. Not commandments. Not conclusions. Just markers. Snapshots from a work in progress. Each one earned the hard way, rewritten in hindsight, and held loosely enough to be challenged by whatever comes next.
If anything, what I’ve learned—what I’m still learning—is that there’s power in staying unfinished. In refusing to become a statue of your former self. In remaining elastic, honest, and hungry enough to evolve.
So take these lessons. Test them. Break them. Rewrite your own. Just don’t stop moving.